Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Begining ReviewThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) DVD Movie Review |
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Over the last several years, Hollywood seems to have developed a fascination in tinkering about with classic genre films. For example, who can forget the pointless shot-by-shot clone of Psycho? Or how about Tim Burton’s pretentious “re-imagining” of The Planet of the Apes? In this modern era of cinema, it seems no profitable movie is safe. This is especially true when it comes to horror films. With the success of such remakes as The Ring and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the suits in Hollyweird are tripping over themselves to rush out as many blood-soaked knock-offs as possible. The results are often mixed, but I’m happy to report that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is hardly the worst offender of the lot.
The film opens in a Texas slaughterhouse in 1939, where a female meat-inspector is forced to give birth right at her station. The strain causes her death, and the plant’s heartless boss tosses the disfigured child into a dumpster out back. Luckily for him (and unfortunately for future generations of hapless teens), a woman picking through the plant’s rancid trash finds him and takes him home. Given the name Thomas Hewitt (Andrew Bryniarski), the troubled child grows up and eventually goes to work for the same slaughterhouse in which he was born. The film then jumps to 1969, when the Department of Health wisely decides to close down the plant. This effectively kills the sleepy Texas town, and Thomas doesn’t take the news very well (to say the least). His mounting bloodlust is only encouraged when his “uncle” Charles (R. Lee Ermey) decides to get in on the action by killing the local cop and passing himself off as the law (dubbing himself Sheriff Hoyt). No horror film would be complete without doomed teenagers, and these come in the form of Eric (Matt Bomer), a Vietnam vet who’s about to re-enlist, Chrissie (Jordana Brewster), his girlfriend, Dean (Taylor Handley), Eric’s drafted brother who plans to flee to Mexico, and Bailey (Diora Baird), Dean’s busty main squeeze. As they travel across the lonely Texas landscape, you know it’s only a matter of time before they cross paths with Sheriff Hoyt, Thomas, and the rest of the deranged backwoods clan. From there, it’s a nightmarish fight for survival, and since we know that the villains live on to terrorize Jessica Biel in the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the odds for our protagonists aren’t looking good. While a lot of critics seem to take a perverse thrill in taking shots at Michael Bay and any film with which he’s involved, I personally thought that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning was a solid enough horror film. Sure, it’s got that sepia-toned look associated with most Bay productions, but since when has it become a crime to make a movie look good? And while the script may not require anyone to deliver an Oscar-worthy performance, it also doesn’t cause any of the actors to embarrass themselves. Jordana Brewster looked particularly fetching, and it was nice to see her have to crawl around a lot in tight jeans. She was able to looked frightened or disgusted when called upon, so I really don’t have any complaints. But the show really belongs to R. Lee Ermey. As the newly dubbed and long demented Sheriff Hoyt, he’s a real hoot to watch. Ermey’s always had a talent for utterly chewing the scenery and making you to enjoy every minute, and that was never truer than in this film. Like an insane peacock with a shotgun, he struts around proudly in his police uniform and dispenses a rather sadistic brand of justice. Part of him is driven by bloodlust and the other to put food on the table (which he does, if you don’t mind eating someone’s foot). Leatherface may be considered the star of the show by some, but he never speaks and therefore gets blown off the screen when he’s sharing scenes with Sheriff Hoyt. A big selling point of the film was an opportunity for the audience to see how Leatherface got his start, and the filmmakers do their best to deliver on the promise. From being fished out of a dumpster as an infant, to being raised by a cannibal, it’s obvious that Thomas Hewitt never had a chance. And Hoyt is all too happy to lead him down the path, explaining to Tommy as he prepares to cut apart a biker chick, “No different than the slaughterhouse. Meat is meat. Bone is bone.” Fans of gore will be particularly pleased, as we get to see numerous scenes of Leatherface’s infamous chainsaw in action. Believe me, the blood really flies in this one, and future mainstream films will have a tough time topping all the graphic violence. While it may not break any new ground in the horror genre, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning will deliver plenty of gory bang for your buck. The heroes are good-looking, the villains appropriately sadistic, and the special effects more than sufficient. It’s a strong entry in the series, and one that will have fans of cannibalistic rednecks asking for seconds. Grade: B- If you like this movie, you might also enjoy:
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While not exactly a remake, it does serve as a prequel to a
remake (which is close enough in my book). Produced by the much-maligned Michael
Bay (The Rock, Pearl Harbor) and directed by Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness
Falls), the film takes us back to the beginning to show how the notorious
Leatherface got his start.
The Prequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Starring R. Lee Ermey |
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