Rest Stop ReviewDVD Movie Review - Rest Stop Movie |
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Ah, the joy of watching straight-to-DVD releases. It’s sort of like fishing for a prize at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks. Sometimes you find a nifty little item and other times the so-called “prize” just flat-out sucks. Unfortunately, watching Rest Stop was kind of like putting your hand in a box of Cracker Jacks only to find that someone has replaced the tasty candy with rat droppings. The movie centers on young lovers Jess (Joey Mendicino) and Nicole (Jaimie Alexander), who are both leaving a small town in Texas to seek their fortunes in California. After some inane chatter which is meant to pass as “character development,” the couple pull off the road for a quick bout of lovemaking. During this interlude, we’re treated to something not usually seen in low-budget films - a body double in a nude scene. While the stand-in has a very nice body, I kept wondering why they didn’t just cast her in the role of Nicole instead of Jaimie Alexander and cut out the middle man (or woman). Surely her performance couldn’t have been any worse. Anyway, after the token sex scene, the couple gets back on the road and quickly run afoul of a redneck in an old Ford truck. He nearly runs them off the road, but Jess jumps out of the car and looks ready to kick ass, so the mysterious figure speeds away. Want to take bets on whether or not the redneck in the Ford will show up again?
1. The couple is at a rest stop. The title of the movie is Rest Stop. (Subtle, huh?) 2. At the very beginning of the movie, we saw a woman murdered in the same bathroom decades earlier. When Nicole returns, Jess is nowhere to be found. She immediately thinks that he’s abandoned her, so she sits around for hours awaiting his return. In this entire time, not a single person passes through the rest stop. But someone does finally show up. Yep, it’s the deranged redneck and his Ford truck. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. From there on out, it’s a cat and mouse game between Nicole and the psychotic Ford enthusiast. Along the way, we’ll meet Officer Michael Deacon (Joseph Lawrence), the world’s most incompetent police officer, and we’ll find out just how many times that Nicole can say the word “f*ck.” To say that Rest Stop is a mess would be an understatement. Fortunately, it’s easy to know who to point the finger of blame at, as John Shiban served as both the director and screenwriter of the film. How someone who has served as a producer for such quality shows as The X-Files and Supernatural could turn out such a bad movie is beyond me. I guess some people are meant to direct, and others are meant to produce. After seeing Rest Stop, there’s no doubt in my mind what Shiban was meant to do. While the technical aspects of the movie are solid enough, it’s the lackluster script which really hamstrings Rest Stop. The dialogue is wooden and unrealistic, and the characters all behave as if they suffer from some mass learning disorder. Granted, every horror film is populated by a few idiots who want to venture out in the woods to investigate those strange sounds they’ve been hearing, but at least those people usually get killed off within a few minutes of demonstrating their absolute stupidity. In Rest Stop, we get to watch one such character bumble about for an hour and a half. That’s right, the character of Nicole may be the most dimwitted heroine to ever don a white tanktop and get splattered with blood. To emphasize my point, let’s look at a few incidents which highlight her complete lack of survival skills. 1. After she realizes that the redneck has abducted her boyfriend, she breaks into the park ranger’s office at the rest stop (I have no idea why a park ranger would have an office at a rest stop) and finishes off a bottle of whiskey that she finds in the desk. Now I don’t know about you, but getting drunk would not be high on my list of things to do if a psychopath was terrorizing me. 2. After being temporarily “rescued” by a deranged family of religious fanatics in an RV, she insists on investigating the strange noises and flashing lights which are coming from the back of the camper, despite repeated warnings to the contrary. 3. At one point in the film, a gun is available to her and isn’t more than five feet away. She ignores the weapon, however, and only takes it after it is specifically pointed out to her by another character. 4. Despite the rest stop being surrounded by a thick forest, Nicole insists on continually locking herself in the ladies room. It should also be noted that this is where the killer obviously grabbed the rest of his victims (since many of his victims wrote helpful warnings on the inside of the stall door). And there are many other examples which are too numerous to mention. Suffice it to say that Nicole is an idiot. But the cop she runs into may be even worse. I won’t spoil it for you, but the scenes between her and Joseph Lawrence are way beyond bizarre. Not that I mind a few dumb characters in a horror film, but it does get annoying when they’re the only characters. Genre fans looking for buckets of blood may also be disappointed. There are a few scenes designed to unsettle viewers, but they are few and far between. Since this is the “Unrated” version, there’s a little extra thrown in here or there, but it’s a far cry from movies like Cabin Fever or Freddy vs. Jason. If you’re not a hardcore horror fan, I would definitely advise you to avoid this film. And even if you are, just remember that you’ve been warned. While I considered giving the film a failing grade, I had to bump it up just a bit to take into consideration all the laughs my friends and I had while making fun of it. Not, I imagine, what the filmmakers had in mind. Grade: D- If you like this film, you might also enjoy: Hostel Wrong Turn The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake) You might also enjoy our reviews of Hood of the Living Dead and House of 1000 Corpses. |
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