10 Cheesy Action Movie Posters

While action movies still enjoy some level of success, they can’t hold a candle to the popularity of the genre in the 80s and early 90s. And for every action film cranked out, there was a corresponding movie poster. While many of these helped to capture the imagination of potential audience members, others were so cheesy that they made you want to run and hide in the theater bathroom.

In the interest of helping these posters gain a well-deserved measure of infamy, I have compiled a list of 10 cheesy movie posters. If you can look at these without cringing, well, you’re a tougher person than me.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

1. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

First off, just check out how long-winded the copy at the top is. “A lone warrior searching for his destiny…A tribe of lost children waiting for a hero…In a world battling to survive, they face a woman determined to rule. Hold out for Mad Max. This is his greatest adventure.” Blah, blah, blah.

Add to that a bunch of half-naked children, Mel Gibson sporting a haircut which screams “keyboardist for Def Leppard,” and you have one really cheesy action movie poster. Oh, and don’t forget about Tina Turner holding a crossbow pistol. That’s the topper, right there.

Delta Forece

2. Delta Force (1986)

Nothing says ‘tough’ like guys on dirt bikes and dune buggies. What the hell was it with these wimpy-looking vehicles in the 80s? Sadly, I’m reminded of Megaforce with Barry Bostwick.

What really makes this poster cheesy is the horrible artist’s rendition of Lee Marvin at the top. While Norris wears his usual grimace and fires an Uzi, Marvin gets off a shot with a bazooka. That’s right…a bazooka! And to really show how badass he is, he’s not even looking where he’s shooting. That’s old school if I’ve ever seen it. The little black stocking cap also adds a nice touch.

And check out the list of “stars” at the bottom. There’s Martin Balsam, Joey Bishop, George Kennedy, Shelley Winters, and Robert Vaughn. Sounds more like the cast of a 70’s disaster film than a kick-ass action movie.

Over the Top

3. Over the Top (1987)

Sly Stallone bored audiences around the world with this not-so-epic tale of arm wrestling. According to the poster “Some fight for money…Some fight for glory…He’s fighting for his son’s love.” Yuck.

The premise of this film was horrible cheesy, and the poster backs it up to a tee. Just looking at Stallone staring down his massive opponent as they lock hands makes me long for the days of Rocky.

And if that wasn’t enough, we get Stallone again at the bottom of the poster with his son. Quick, name one poster where the main character appears twice. It’s harder than it sounds, isn’t it? That’s because it’s so self-indulgent that most would have enough sense to avoid it. I guess a shot of Robert Loggia (who co-stars) sunbathing was out of the question.

Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End

4. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

Orlando Bloom tries hard to channel the spirit of Errol Flynn. Instead, this poster ends up looking like the DVD cover to a gay pirate movie.

I’m sure Bloom may be a nice guy, but he’s simply too damned pretty to pull off the tough swashbuckler look. And that cheesy fire coming out of the end of his pistol doesn’t really help anything. Pistols discharging, long swords, Bloom grasping a long, erect rope…this one is jam-packed with unintentional homoerotic imagery. Then again, maybe this film is aimed at a different demographic than I thought.

The Sixth Day

5. The 6th Day (2000)

By looking at this mess of a poster, I can only assume that Schwarzenegger went to get an eye exam and took a photographer along. This is supposed to be an action film, for God’s sake, and they’ve got him hooked up to some optometrist’s torture device with a passive expression on his face.

I would have expected more from a poster advertising the most successful action star of the 80s and 90s. Guess I expected too much.

6. Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

This film was supposed to be the first of several movies based on The Destroyer paperback novels. Instead, it bombed at the box office and that was that. After looking at the poster, I can’t help but feel that it was just as responsible for the poor showing as the film itself.

As Fred Ward hangs off the Statue of Liberty, we’re supposed to get a sense of action, danger, and excitement. Instead, the poor artwork reduces this to nothing more than a laughable waste of paper. The perspective is all messed up, and the boats in the water look indistinguishable from a group of circling sharks.

And the name Remo plastered in big red letters isn’t exactly an eye-catcher. If I had to draw up a list of top 10 action names, Remo probably wouldn’t make it. Someone really phoned it in with this one.

Band of the Hand

7. Band of the Hand (1986)

It’s hard to believe that this band of freaks would have ever been considered cool-looking. One guy’s got a fringed jacket and looks like he left his pajama pants on. The others aren’t even interesting enough to mention. While the poster shoots for ‘edgy’ and ‘hip‘, it falls flat on its face. It just goes to show that people in the 80s occasionally had good taste. The good taste not to see this movie, that is.

XXX - State of the Union

8. XXX: State of the Union (2005)

While Die Another Day wasn’t a horrible film, it certainly wasn’t good enough to warrant sticking its name at the top of the poster. But there it is anyway. “From the director of Die Another Day.” Big deal. Based on this film’s box office performance, I don’t think I was the only one who was underwhelmed.

To make matters worse, we don’t even get any action scenes on the poster. Maybe the filmmakers were hoping that nobody would notice that Vin Diesel wasn’t in the picture. Or maybe they were just lazy. Either way, this poster sucked big time.

End of Days

9. End of Days (1999)

Another poster that seems too lazy to give us anything substantial, viewers are instead treated to the number six, some fire, and the confusing phrase “When the thousand years are expired…”

I understand what they were getting at, but the poster does nothing to make a potential audience member want to shell out some money. Hell, they don’t even bother to mention that Arnold freakin’ Schwarzenegger is the lead actor in the film. I would think that little detail might be kind of important.

Snakes on a Plane

10. Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Just take a minute and check out this poster. I’ll be happy to wait.

Terrible, isn’t it? Everyone looks scared to death, but we don’t even get to see the damned snakes. Granted, I guess that was supposed to make us want to see more, but we already know what snakes look like, so why bother?

It also doesn’t help that Samuel L. Jackson’s figure looks like it was added in after everyone else. Something about him just doesn’t seem to fit.

And notice how the scared passengers are all looking in different directions. According to their gazes, there should be snakes visible. That, or everyone is just on a really bad acid trip (Julianna Margulies certainly looks high on something).

This one is perhaps the cheesiest poster on the list. That’s only appropriate, as the film was about as cheesy as you can get.

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